Starfish Songwriters
The Sandbox => MP3 songs for Review/Critique => Topic started by: LAWHON on June 22, 2026, 07:55:05 pm
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My Pleasure Stone,
I can't take credit for much. SUNO appears to have kept the chord pattern from my noodling, and also loosely echoed a couple of my riffs.
Beyond that, it just did it's thing. The soft jazz version is really growing on me. It's as if the demo had "Sade" for a vocalist.
Your lyrics conveyed a relaxed state of enjoyment and were very compelling in spots.
Aww the city favors a different mind
Someone who can stand the sight
Of a forest of concrete and hard lights
And the stormy sea of humanity
The cradle of life stretches to the horizon (love that line)
I found my way here to find some
Peace belonging and ease
And give in to the calling of the ocean’s breeze
Lovely writing,
Thanks for including me.
Lawhon
Also, WITH YOUR PERMISSION
I originally had in mind for this to be love song, in which someone compared their love interest to an ocean breeze. I still might take a shot at that. Do you mind if I use some of your lines? It would be a co-write.
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OCEAN BREEZE (Soft jazz version)
Damn Lawhon, thank you for melting my ears with those sweet beautiful renditions. I'm flattered and touched that you used my lyrics. Not sure which one I like better they're both so moving. Interesting that neither has traditional patterns that include formal chorus, bridge, break etc. Yet, the poetry and music just work. Reg my name, well...my ex-wife is looking for me says I owe her $$ if she found out I was a songwriter the lawyer's would be sending letters. So, let's just keep it in my pen name. I've got to be gone for a couple of days so may not be back on line till Wednesday.
Thank you again. Now...let me listen to those again, and again. Reallllly beautiful!
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OCEAN BREEZE (Soft jazz version)
https://soundclick.com/song/15278530
Lyrics by Stone Flowers aka ?
Origination riffs by Lawhon
Production by SUNO
Stone,
Your lyrics came to life with music behind them.
IMO, they are very very good and put a listener on the beach.
That line "cradle of life stretches to the horizon" is extraordinary IMO.
I'm not sure what I did on this. I fed your lyrics, along with my riffs into SUNO and simply prompted SUNO that this was soft jazz...and to assess all uploaded info and do it's thing.
Please give me your name as you would like to be credited on Soundclick and here.
I did a 2nd upload in which I did not assign a style. I simply told Suno to read the lyrics and do it's thing. I thought that version sold the mood of your lyrics better than the jazz version. Here is the link to that version.
https://soundclick.com/song/15278537
If I shouted please take me down to the sea
Would the wind hear me
And float me along to the beach
If the clouds drifted in
Would I be able to fly in my mind
And walk with deep sandy feet
drinking in the ocean’s breeze
Aww the city favors a different mind
Someone who can stand the sight
Of a forest of concrete and hard lights
And the stormy sea of humanity
But I long for the shore
Yeah I’ll find myself there on my knees
Watching the white caps blowing foam
Yeah I know what I need
A cool salty ocean breeze
The cradle of life stretches to the horizon
I found my way here to find some
Peace belonging and ease
And give in to the calling of the ocean’s breeze
Ah if the wind could pick me up
And float me to the sea
If only in my mind
I’ll surrender to the ocean’s breeze