Starfish Songwriters
The Sandbox => MP3 songs for Review/Critique => Topic started by: Curtisflint on March 25, 2026, 05:50:05 pm
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I'm with everyone, I was invested until that turn...I don't think it hits as strong as it could. Once again, a modern song with commercial potential...just think that ending needs work...I also think one bad choice and two beers is kinda weird, maybe one beer,or one drink from calling you....some of your lyrics are wrong again, I think what you have written here is better than the track though as through rhymes with you...the track's hook isn't set up well enough...loved the imagery of the first verse and the set up...I think you can nix her saying that in the first verse and just go into the Chorus where you say "you said don't call me when you've been drinking" ...it feels like overkill and delays the hook...nice job though!
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Exactly. He was getting ready to drink and she knew he would so she called before it could happen
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When your name lit up my phone
Like you always knew I would
That's what I thought you meant, but I guess it was unclear.
When your name lit up my phone
Surprised that you ever would (??
Was he suprised?
Like YOU always knew I would sounds like HE'S doing something.
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She knew he’d drink then call and she knew he would so she called before he could start
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I was one bad choice from hearing your voice
Two beers from calling you
When your name lit up my phone
Like you always knew I would
This is the part where my mind took a turn.
Was she calling him???
When your name lit up my phone
like "you" always knew I would
That just confused me a bit.
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Yes, I would like to see the lyrics as well, but the song sounds pretty smooth to me!
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Another good one... If you can't tell I'm a country boy myself...
Always post your lyrics if you don't mind....
Good Luck
Tex
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I wrote the lyrics and melody and used suno for final production
https://on.soundcloud.com/k5XXD5NNfd8knAjDb1
Title: Two Beers From Calling You
Original Lyrics by Curtis Flint – 2026
[Verse 1]
We were standing in your driveway
Tail lights glowing in the dark
You said maybe we both needed
A little time apart
You said give it space, let it breathe
Like people sometimes do
Then you turned back with one last line
Before I watched you leave
“Don’t call me when you’ve been drinking”
[Chorus]
Your name’s still sitting at the top
Every time I scroll my phone
You said don’t call me when you’ve been drinking
So I’ve been trying to leave it alone
One more song, one more round
Might push me through
One bad choice from hearing your voice
Two beers from calling you
[Verse 2]
This place still plays the songs you loved
That corner booth’s the same
Someone laughed across the room tonight
Almost sounded like your name
I told myself I’d leave you be
Like you asked me to do
But every mile I drove tonight
Just led me back to you
[Chorus]
Your name’s still sitting at the top
Every time I scroll my phone
You said don’t call me when you’ve been drinking
So I’ve been trying to leave it alone
One more song, one more round
Might push me through
One bad choice from hearing your voice
Two beers from calling you
[Bridge]
Maybe you were right about us
Maybe time’s the only cure
But if letting go was easy
Why’s your number still right here
[Final Chorus]
I was one bad choice from hearing your voice
Two beers from calling you
When your name lit up my phone
Like you always knew I would
You said don’t call me when you’ve been drinking
Girl you know me too
Yeah I was two beers from calling
When I heard from you