Starfish Songwriters
The Sandbox => MP3 songs for Review/Critique => Topic started by: Tex on July 04, 2026, 12:59:32 am
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I like the way the melody and chords move the verse into the chorus...love the major E transition...
The chorus might need a little more of a hook line
I like the first four lines....
But it sounds like when you say "I never felt like this before", you should immediately go into the last line of the chorus...get rid of the male voice that interrupts and immediately go into
"You're everything that I've been looking for"
though I might shorten the last line...
ex:
I never felt like this before
But you're all I've waited for....
Also, it does seem a little cliche to say that so you may want to think about it lyrically and think what you might be able to say but in a different way...
Either way, I like the verse and transition to the chorus...very interesting modulation....kept it from sounding like thousands of other songs.
Thanks for sharing!
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Beeeutiful tune...who is that girl singing? Is she as sweet as her voice?
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I'm not sure I see a hook or a great chorus in this song. Not trying to be overly critical, but it looks like a poem maybe?
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Very nice Tex.
Definitely comes from the same place that I did.
Personally, I think that there is better music to showcase the mood of your lyrics.
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This is from 2011. So no AI.
https://soundclick.com/track/11225481
When I'm With You
When I'm with you
It's like a moon lit night
and dinner by candle light
When I'm with you
It's like a summer day
when the sun shines my way
It doesn't matter what we do
Just as long as I'm with you
With you my nights are never blue
You make it so easy to be true
With you there's nothing I can't do
You make all my dreams come true
I've never felt like this before
(never felt like this before)
Your everything I've been looking for
When I'm with you
I love a summed breeze
and the wind blowing through the trees
When I'm with you
I love the way you hold me tight
when we are looking up into the starry night
Just as long as I'm with you
With you my nights are never blue
You make it so easy to be true
With you there's nothing I can't do
You make all my dreams come true
I've never felt like this before
(never felt like this before)
Your everything I've been looking for
(Instrumental)
With you my nights are never blue
You make it so easy to be true
With you there's nothing I can't do
You make all my dreams come true
I've never felt like this before
(never felt like this before)
Your everything I been looking for
When I'm with you
When I'm with you