Starfish Songwriters
The Sandbox => MP3 songs for Review/Critique => Topic started by: redwriter1 on July 26, 2026, 02:05:59 pm
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Did you hear "INSULT MY DOG? that I wrote... Won't ever be a hit, but I still love it to death.. haha
Killa tune sweetie I could listen to dat one ova and ova....rrrrruffff
LOL You Quack me up!
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Did you hear "INSULT MY DOG? that I wrote... Won't ever be a hit, but I still love it to death.. haha
Killa tune sweetie I could listen to dat one ova and ova....rrrrruffff
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Well Red,
The idea was to paint several situations that might create emotional resonance with a listener.
I think that the song did that.
And I disagree...I think that the singer was very clear about how they "feel."
"How many songs did they write about the way that I FEEL."
Nashville? Are you serious?
I'm 73 and I live in the Texas Hill Country?
What has "Nashville" ever done for me and what will "Nashville" ever do for me?
Alex, I'll take 800 for "nothing." LOL
The song is meant to be fun. Nothing more.
Writing it and Jack Daniels made for a very pleasant evening and memory.
If anyone is actually offended by the song, that would indicate that they have much larger emotional issues to consider than...the song.
Have a pleasant evening.
Nobody is offended, least of all me, I said.. "nashville " would be offended. It's a tight group of songwriters and they run into each other every night and clubs so you can't afford to offend anyone. Sorta like politics. LOL And I'm all for writing fun songs... do it all the time just for fun.
Did you hear "INSULT MY DOG? that I wrote... Won't ever be a hit, but I still love it to death.. haha
https://soundclick.com/song/15183160
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Well Red,
The idea was to paint several situations that might create emotional resonance with a listener.
I think that the song did that.
And I disagree...I think that the singer was very clear about how they "feel."
"How many songs did they write about the way that I FEEL."
Nashville? Are you serious?
I'm 73 and I live in the Texas Hill Country?
What has "Nashville" ever done for me and what will "Nashville" ever do for me?
Alex, I'll take 800 for "nothing." LOL
The song is meant to be fun. Nothing more.
Writing it and Jack Daniels made for a very pleasant evening and memory.
If anyone is actually offended by the song, that would indicate that they have much larger emotional issues to consider than...the song.
Have a pleasant evening.
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A few years ago, I stopped by a singer-songwriters house in SCarolina and stayed a couple of days. We got a bottle a bottle of Jack one night and wrote till we were too drunk to write.
At least I was. He finished the song with his band after I left.
I fed it up into SUNO a minute ago.
It is similar in attitude to your song.
Here is the link if you'd like to listen..
https://suno.com/s/3wdXpsu33B4CjoEL
Took a listen.... and to be honest........you didn't tell the listener how you "feel" , you just described a few annoying things. And you kinda insulted a whole songwriting community in Nashville... not sure that's a good idea......... (wink) ps. maybe a little whiny? LOL just saying what I would say in a real workshop, please don't be offended.
Love the melody though!
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In other news,
I thought that Rob's SUNO caught the Imagine Dragons kind of aingst that best expressed the lyrics. His singer truly sounds "fed-up" with the day.
Now that I am looking at it, would you mind if I re-wrote this theme under the title of FED-UP?
If you prefer that I not, no problem there.
Feel free to do as you like.............. we're just trying to inspire each other here. I have no problem at all.
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A few years ago, I stopped by a singer-songwriters house in SCarolina and stayed a couple of days. We got a bottle a bottle of Jack one night and wrote till we were too drunk to write.
At least I was. He finished the song with his band after I left.
I fed it up into SUNO a minute ago.
It is similar in attitude to your song.
Here is the link if you'd like to listen..
https://suno.com/s/3wdXpsu33B4CjoEL
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I apologize up front for this opinion.
I think that this is a very good message and massively relatable...but...I don't feel like your lyrics "stuck it."
I never felt "put-in-the-song."
The airmask thing was lost on me until I read your clarification.
"exhausted from interactions" sounds like something that a news reporter would say.
"For the most part I've been blessed," seems beside-the-point and somewhat gratuitous.
Imho...it needs a scene or two where an interaction(s) is described.
Feel free to ignore me.
Lawhon
All feedback is appreciated and yes, I"m still working on the oxygen mask line........... proves the point songwriting is a lot of work .
Exhaustion from interactions is probably my own take on... "I'm just tired of talking to people".............. I put in the I've been blessed so the whole song wasn't depressing and angry.....
If I were writing a country song, this would be totally different, but I'm trying to think outside my wheelhouse. Stretch my creativity.
All your points are valued and appreciated..........and valid for sure.
if you have any suggestions, I"m totally open and thank you so much for listening with such a thoughtful ear.
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In other news,
I thought that Rob's SUNO caught the Imagine Dragons kind of aingst that best expressed the lyrics. His singer truly sounds "fed-up" with the day.
Now that I am looking at it, would you mind if I re-wrote this theme under the title of FED-UP?
If you prefer that I not, no problem there.
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I apologize up front for this opinion.
I think that this is a very good message and massively relatable...but...I don't feel like your lyrics "stuck it."
I never felt "put-in-the-song."
The airmask thing was lost on me until I read your clarification.
"exhausted from interactions" sounds like something that a news reporter would say.
"For the most part I've been blessed," seems beside-the-point and somewhat gratuitous.
Imho...it needs a scene or two where an interaction(s) is described.
Feel free to ignore me.
Lawhon
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This is the final lyric we came up with..... I might change the mask of air line because I"m referring to the oxygen mask on airplanes, not sure that's getting through? Ya think?
Verse 1
I’ve about had it up to here
I look in the rear view mirror
How many hours does it take
For me to get 1… thing…. Done
Drop down that mask of air,
cus right now I don’t care
[chorus]
I’m soooooo done with this day,
I’m done done done
there’s no way to escape
Can’t run run run
Gonna start up again
It’s not fun fun fun
I’m so done with this day
Verse 2
Exhausted
from inter actions
Frusterated
getting off track in
Every different direction
I got nothing left to say
I’m so done with this day
[chorus]
I’m soooooo done with this day,
I’m done done done
there’s no way to escape
Can’t run run run
Gonna start up again
It’s not fun fun fun
I’m so done with this day
[bridge]
For the most part I've been blessed,
but some days are not like the rest.
I need to remember, it's gonna get better
but now, let's just say.. I'm done with THIS day.
[chorus]
I’m soooooo done with this day,
I’m done done done
When tomorrow comes my way
gonna run run run
Gonna try it again
Start with fun fun fun
But I’m so done with this day
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https://suno.com/s/qRbLHBsEE779kl0I
Mine sounds like Taylor Swift.?
Funny you should say that Bill, cus I put in a Suno prompt for her voice............. nice catch!!
Pretty happy with it so far, but it's so much fun to see what other people do with it.
You're such a great addition to this forum!
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This one more synth pop.
https://suno.com/s/8OZYxFh8J9dy4yQj
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Hello Kay-Lynn!
I enjoyed the thread here. Rob’s was an interesting and enjoyable take as usual and what you landed with was very interesting and lyric developed more as well. Fun! Thanks.
Bill
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https://suno.com/s/qRbLHBsEE779kl0I
Mine sounds like Taylor Swift.?
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Your version is cool. It's not "Thunder" from Imagine Dragons but I'd say what you have is even better.
Well thank you very much but I did have a co-writer for the past two days helping with the lyrics. It only took me 48 tries through Suno to even get to this one, the rest were pretty angry.. LOL Actually kinda happy with it, may still tweek a few things. Anything look out of place to you?
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Your version is cool. It's not "Thunder" from Imagine Dragons but I'd say what you have is even better.
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https://suno.com/s/KVZm2Wp5Jg7nZZRQ
OK........................nice work Rob! But since nobody was responding............ I came up with this. Let me know your thoughts.
https://suno.com/s/CSLndBMZwtvqykSj
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https://suno.com/s/KVZm2Wp5Jg7nZZRQ
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Hi Kay-lynn,
can you give me more information on "Before The Thunder". I don't know the song and Google says it's from Imagine Dragons. I doubt this is what you're looking for. Can you give me more information on what you want it to sound like. I can then give it a try.
Yes, it's Imagine Dragons. I love that song and that's the sort of vibe I want, but with a female voice.
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Hi Kay-lynn,
can you give me more information on "Before The Thunder". I don't know the song and Google says it's from Imagine Dragons. I doubt this is what you're looking for. Can you give me more information on what you want it to sound like. I can then give it a try.
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Dearest sweet Rob.
You put so much work into that. !
I was just looking for the verse/chorus I posted to be run through Suno to give me the right vibe because my prompts aren't giving me what I want.
And here you go writing a whole song.......................
Did you run this through suno ?
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Hi Kay-lynn,
I hope all is well. I gave it a shot. Maybe you'll find a line or two here that you want to use. Fell free to use as much as you want.
I'm So Done With This Day
Verse 1
Exhausted by conversations
Running out of patience
Pulled a hundred different ways
Trying just to make it home
Got nothing left to say
Yeah, I'm done with this day
Pre-Chorus
Every little thing went wrong
Some days just drag you along
If tomorrow's got a little light
I'll survive another night
Chorus
I'm sooooo done with this day
I'm done, done, done
There's nowhere to escape
Can't run, run, run
It's gonna start up again
And it ain't no fun, fun, fun
I'm sooooo done with this damn day
Verse 2
Traffic lights and ringing phones
Can't even hear my own thoughts
Everybody wants a piece of me
But nobody can see
I'm hanging by a thread
Just wanna crawl into bed
Pre-Chorus
Maybe when the morning comes
The weight won't feel this strong
Till then I'll close my tired eyes
And leave this day behind
Chorus
I'm sooooo done with this day
I'm done, done, done
There's nowhere to escape
Can't run, run, run
It's gonna start up again
And it ain't no fun, fun, fun
I'm sooooo done with this damn day
Bridge
Some days win, some days lose
Some days wear holes in your shoes
I'll shake it off somehow
Just not right now
One more breath
One more sigh
One less reason asking why
Tomorrow's waiting anyway
Final Chorus
I'm sooooo done with this day
I'm done, done, done
But tomorrow's on its way
Here comes the sun, sun, sun
Maybe it'll all make sense
When this one is gone, gone, gone
I'm sooooo done with this damn day
Yeah, this damn day
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Myself and co-writer are trying to give a vibe to this song like. "before the thunder"...........And since I"m not a guy, I need to use Suno to give me a strong male vocal like that. We just have Verse 1 and the chorus so far. Anyone wanna play?
Exhausted from interactions
Frustrated and going off track in
Every different direction and
just want to land safe at home
I got nothing left to say
I’m so done with this day
[chorus]
I’m soooooo done with this day
I’m done done done
there’s no way to escape
Can’t run run run
It's Gonna start up again
It’s not fun fun fun
I’m soooooo done with this damn day