Starfish Songwriters
The Sandbox => MP3 songs for Review/Critique => Topic started by: Tex on March 22, 2026, 09:10:58 pm
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I like lot of the imagery you put forth but I think it would help to dial back on some of the fairy tale speak and paint a clearer picture of how or why you lost her...I left the song not knowing the why...and the bridge confused me further as I initially thought it was due to something he did but then you said she wasn't all she seemed, which implies she did something wrong...I also think some of the fairy tale references might be s little generic and unrelated, like dragons aren't a part of that tale and I feel like if you're centering the story around Cinderella, you gotta at least mention a glass slipper, though i would suggest in a clever, subtle way, not too literal or heavy handed where it comes off cheesy...just a thought...
I think it's a cool concept...just needs a little polish...I agree the music sounds good as well...good luck!
Thanks Serenowolf for the listen and critique,
But somewhere her heart grew cold
Left me with no hand to hold
That's why it's:
Was never who she seemed to be
But I see what you're saying
What got me thinking going the fairytale theme was these lines...
Thought we'd ride that fairytale
All the way to heaven
I'm kinda proud of them lines... sounds better than Thought we'd be together till we die..
Thanks again
Tex
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I like lot of the imagery you put forth but I think it would help to dial back on some of the fairy tale speak and paint a clearer picture of how or why you lost her...I left the song not knowing the why...and the bridge confused me further as I initially thought it was due to something he did but then you said she wasn't all she seemed, which implies she did something wrong...I also think some of the fairy tale references might be s little generic and unrelated, like dragons aren't a part of that tale and I feel like if you're centering the story around Cinderella, you gotta at least mention a glass slipper, though i would suggest in a clever, subtle way, not too literal or heavy handed where it comes off cheesy...just a thought...
I think it's a cool concept...just needs a little polish...I agree the music sounds good as well...good luck!
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Thanks Rob, 45 years ago I was engaged to a girl that's name is Cindy, my pet name for her was Cinderella. Thought I try something and make it a fairytale theme.
It obviously worked. Great song.
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I love this lyric, and the music matches it well. I'm wondering if there aren't some more intimate images you can use that relate to why she was your specific Cinderella. ? Just a thought. We want to hear something deep that made you love her so much. I like it already.
Thanks Kay-lynn, Nothing is set in stone yet.This one is very well-written. There are a bunch of really awesome lines here. My favorite ones are: I was the prince in her storybook dream - She was my everything.
The music is a perfect fit.
Thanks Rob, 45 years ago I was engaged to a girl that's name is Cindy, my pet name for her was Cinderella. Thought I try something and make it a fairytale theme.
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This one is very well-written. There are a bunch of really awesome lines here. My favorite ones are: I was the prince in her storybook dream - She was my everything.
The music is a perfect fit.
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I love this lyric, and the music matches it well. I'm wondering if there aren't some more intimate images you can use that relate to why she was your specific Cinderella. ? Just a thought. We want to hear something deep that made you love her so much. I like it already.
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https://suno.com/s/yysXypOI5tVyPOji
Lyrics me/ music suno
My Cinderella
I used to call her my Cinderella
I saw a Snow White in her smile
She called me her charming fella
She said I made her dreams worthwhile
We were young and chasing forever
Two hearts tied together
Back when love felt right
Under a small town Friday night
My Cinderella---my Cinderella
Back when love was forever
I was the prince in her storybook dream
She was my queen of everything
Thought we'd ride that fairytale
All the way to heaven
But somewhere in the midnight
I lost my Cinderella
Once upon a time so long ago
She was the girl I loved the most
I was her knight in shining armor
Fighting every dragon for her
But somewhere her heart grew cold
Left me with no hand to hold
Promises we used to make
Shattered like a castle gate
My Cinderella-- my Cinderella
Back when love was forever
I was the prince in her storybook dream
She was my queen of everything
Thought we'd ride that fairytale
All the way to heaven
But somewhere in the midnight
I lost my Cinderella
No white horse come riding in
No happy ending in the end
The princess in my fantasy
Was never who she seemed to be
My Cinderella---my Cinderella
Once my heart's forever
I was the prince in her storybook dream
She was my everything
Thought we'd ride that fairytale
All the way together
But now she's just a memory
Of my Cinderella