Starfish Songwriters
The Sandbox => MP3 songs for Review/Critique => Topic started by: guest45 on May 05, 2026, 06:40:28 pm
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Well you might be rich and a stuck up ****
But you should'na done what you did
The things you said, you should'a kept to yourself
She was only sixteen and still just a kid
Ok.. first verses are very important. It's a female singing calling someone else a b**.. we don't know who.
And she shouldn't have done "something"
And then she said some stuff she shouldn't have(to whom, we don't know)
And someone was sixteen but we don't know who.
There's where I lost my train of thought.
Oh and this someone was rich.
I'm just looking for a starting place that opens with very harsh language, and it's good, but I wanna be mad too and I don't know who to be mad at! LOL
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The story outline is clear and easy to follow, but it might just benefit a bit from more detail in the lyrics to bring the story to life and make the moments feel more vivid.
The opening line is very direct, which sets a blunt tone right away. That can work, but you might get more impact by letting the listener pick up on who this person is through actions or imagery instead.
Overall, it flows naturally and comes across well with the delivery—it’s easy to listen to.
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Yeah, I'm kinda of a stickler for the story, since I'm a Nashville writer. But I still wanna know the real story to see if the lyric matches it.
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As Tex points out, it's a simple revenge story, she sets up a naive kid and then she gets her just desserts by being set up herself. In this song, the story takes a back seat to the music and the hook.
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Love the voice and melody that suno came up with (can you share the prompt?)
But as far as the lyric goes, what exactly happened? What is the story?
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Thanks Tex/Chris,
Appreciate you finding the time to comment.
As to the chords, I wouldn't know my Am from my G7, thought it was a finance thing.
The kiddie vocals drive me nuts and it's only recently I've found a way to get around it.
The melody and rhythm seemed to go down a well worn country track so I opted for those.
Sid
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I like this Sid. It's built around a well used chord sequence..not a crit - most of my songs are too!! You say it's back catalog..I don't remember hearing this one before. The vocal is very AI - but I'm thinking that might be intentional here. A damn good song. :)
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Revenge can be a **** for one side but a pleasure for another side.
Not bad at all, Sid
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One from the back catalogue
words mine/rest Ai
https://soundclick.com/song/15240880 (https://soundclick.com/song/15240880)
[intro]
[verse 1]
Well you might be rich and a stuck up ****
But you should'na done what you did
The things you said, you should'a kept to yourself
She was only sixteen and still just a kid
[chorus]
It does feel good, an' I knew that it would
I've waited a while, for you to get your dues
Oh, I really do care, an' I wanna be there
When you get what's comin' to you
[verse 2]
You pulled one of your tricks just to get those pic's
That guy would do whatever you said
She didn't know she was in a video
With the crush who had her in his bed
[chorus]
It does feel good, an' I knew that it would
I've waited a while, for you to get your dues
Oh, I really do care, an' I wanna be there
When you get what's comin' to you
[verse 3]
Your boyfriend Zac, was the star quarterback
You were blind to the passes under the bleachers
Till I sent the head some 6 by 4's in colour
of Zac scoring a touchdown, with one of the teachers
[chorus]
It does feel good, an' I knew that it would
I've waited a while, for you to get your dues
Oh, I really do care, an' I wanna be there
When you get what's comin' to you
[bridge]
You got what you deserved,
and I really hope it hurt.
For all the pain you caused,
I'm glad that I was there
[chorus]
It does feel good, an' I knew that it would
I've waited a while, for you to get your dues
Oh, I really do care, an' I wanna be there
When you get what's comin' to you
[outro]
Oh, I really do care, an' I wanna be there
When you get what's comin' to you
Oh, I really do care, an' I wanna be there
When you get what's comin' to you