In summary:

I like the intro, verses,and chorus as is.
reading again this am, I don’t think the “but “ is needed.

And(something new), maybe rethink the bridge, as some 7 year olds may be headed for prison?

I like the subject of this lyric and the deep analysis.some great discussion.

Train the children. They don’t nearly understand. But good solid civilized habits learned early will kick in, with rewards later in life.

How did I fall so far said the man being lead off to prison. It’s not a rocket science lesson in living. Most folks now the lessons as well.

Hey you messed up. Remember how easy it was when you were a kid?
Kids don’t have adult problems though. They still steal candy at the corner store…old Mr jones, the blind codger, he’ll never miss a few candies,  Joey says, 15 year’s later he is lead off to jail for embessiling funds from wealthy clients saying…..they will never miss the bucks.

Good message lyric, important.
Bill

Hello rpirone
I read the lyric two maybe three day ago, and thought that some fine writing,  mental note to come back to starfish, and listen!

Music sounds 70’s yeah…for some reason. I was in my 20’s in the 70’s, and remember the sad/sweetness of summer love and summer love songs. This song fits nicely…Could go nicely in a movie in that genre.

I enjoyed the listen. Took me back! Cheers.
Bill

If the river is not there, but it is there
It’s in my imagination.

My thoughts were proceeding, well enough
But now they are blocked
By this force of river

Why do I care?
Because there is a colourful pavilion
Flying fabulous flags of intricate design
with interesting folk dancing and waving
On the other shore

I want to go there, in my mind
I build a bridge and proceed

lol…that was like a object writing exercise

Bill

Good song! More, more!

Go ahead with yours Kay-Lynn!! Really looking forward to hearing it. Will be very good I expect. Cheers.
Bill

Please be honest 

But I do

V1
It’s every day
And it’s all the time
Wishing that he was mine
He’s in my heart
And he’s in my mind
Sends shivers down my spine

Chorus
He’s not the kind to stick around
He’s not the type to see things through
Can’t have him, shouldn’t want him
But I do

V2
He’s like a knock
On an open door
Don’t know what I’m waiting for
A little sweet that
I can’t ignore
I only want a little more

Chorus(modified)
He breaks a heart with every smile
Breaks every rule I ever knew
Can’t have him, shouldn’t want him
But I do
 
Bridge 1
Do I want to feel the flame?
(yeah I do)
And know I’ll never be the same?
(Yeah I do)
He’s playing games and he’ll play me too…..
Can’t have him, shouldn’t want him
But I do


Bridge 2
He’s got this hard wild heart
And I’m not one for taking chances
So I run  when he advances
But he knows the truth
Can’t have him, shouldn’t want him
But I do

Bridge 3
Can’t have him, shouldn’t want him
But I do
Can’t have him, shouldn’t want him
But I sure do
Can’t have him, shouldn’t want him
Like I do

Bridge 2
He’s got this hard wild heart
And I’m not one for taking chances
So I run  when he advances
But he knows the truth
Can’t have him, shouldn’t want him
But I do

Tag
It’s every day
And it’s all the time
Wishing that he was mine.