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Author Topic: My Anti-Venom  (Read 266 times)

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My Anti-Venom
« on: »
I wrote 100% of the lyrics. I recorded my vocals for the melody, flow and BPM of the song. I have Suno the prompt for the instruments, mood and energy of the song.

https://youtu.be/nPtG8BaF1Ww?si=wSBx1q1O3pF-pLHq


[Verse 1]
Cold world
All lies
These tattoos hide the bites
Fork tongues
Like knives
They all hide from the light
I got scars thats in my veins
On my skin
And in my brain
All these people look the same
Red eyes
Dark clouds
Eternal flames

[Chorus]
But you!
You are my anti-venom
Fight the dark that's in my veins
You pull me out! when I'm sinking in venom
You block out all the pain from their fangs
In this dark
Heartless world
Where they only see me as prey
You are my anti-venom
Burning the black away

[Verse 2]
Just know
That I
Appreciate what you do
So we
Fight back
See them slither
When we move
So we're silent with our steps
Never flaunt or show our flex
Leave them guessin what comes next
And always protect our necks

[Pre-Chorus]
Hear the hiss in my head
Hear the lies that they fed
You crush them under your heel
Till the venom runs red

[Chorus]
'Cause you!
You are my anti-venom
Fight the dark that's in my veins
You pull me out! when I'm sinking in venom
You block out all the pain from their fangs
In this dark
Heartless world
Where they only see me as prey
You are my anti-venom
Burning the black away

[Bridge]
When this world shows it's colors
We stand
Ready to prevail (yeah)
They say they're family
Then why
Do you want me to fail? (LIES!)
Feel the knife diggin in
These snake keep slither-in
You're the armor to my skin
They hate they can't get in!

[Breakdown]
(down, down)
Let it bite
Let it sting
I got you in everything
Every cut
Every scar
You’re the light inside the dark
(down, down)
Let em strike
Let em crawl
You just rise when I fall
Screaming back at the snakes
“We don't fall
We won't break!”

[Chorus]
Yeah!
You!
You are my anti-venom
Fight the dark that's in my veins
You pull me out! when I'm sinking in venom
You block out all the pain from their fangs
In this dark
Heartless world
Where they only see me as prey
You are my anti-venom
Burning the black away

[Outro]
My antivenom
(my antivenom)
In a world that laughs at fails
We'll slice through all their scales
My antivenom
(my antivenom)
Let the darkness bare its teeth
'Cause they got nothin on me!
My Anti-Venom

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Re: My Anti-Venom
« Reply #1 on: »
Well this isn't my type of music... but it sounds alright to me... I might of thought it was a little long... but I don't know...  that might be what you're looking for...

Good Luck
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Re: My Anti-Venom
« Reply #2 on: »
Kinda dark, eh? Sounds great, SUNO did an excellent job. (Too bad they are discontinuing the app.) Vocals are just right.

Mike

Re: My Anti-Venom
« Reply #3 on: »
A lot of Alternative-Metal genre songs are dark lol.
Also Suno isn't going no where at the moment. More labels are settling the lawsuit, and they just came out with the new 5.5 version that allows you to use your own vocals for the songs now. So it's about to go even further now.

Re: My Anti-Venom
« Reply #4 on: »
Ok this is pretty cool...great sound, has a 3 Days Grace or Breaking Benjamin vibe...I think my first bit of advice is to try to match your syllables and meters better...there are a lot of lines you tried to fit too much in a line and it was obvious...like "these tattoos hide the bites"...think I would stop at these people look the same...the rest is really vague and you start losing me...eternal flames in particular doesn't hit or go with the theme...I like the hook/title...you are my anti venom....but then don't say venom again, instead of sinking in the venom, maybe poison...idk...you just don't want to fatigue the listener...same with veins mentioned more than once...I don't love the second verse, feels a little vague and generic...this would be a prime time to show specifically what it is the anti venom is shielding you from...and how or why they are doing it...what makes that person so unique...give examples of what they do, not just appreciate what they do....does that make sense? I'll be honest and say that after that you kinda lost me...the bridges and breakdowns felt on point musically but maybe you don't need all of it and can make it tighter and less lengthy as redwriter mentioned...As a habitual over-writer myself, I kinda hate this truth, but commercially you want to hit 3:30 to 4 min tops and the 4 min versions are only if there is no room to cut without losing the story...that is incredibly hard to do consistently but if commercial success is your goal, you should try to hit it. Anyways, I think you got some good bones here, just figure out what you're trying to say exactly and let us have it...good luck!!
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Re: My Anti-Venom
« Reply #5 on: »
Wolf, that was the most detailed and respectful criticism I've had in years. Thank you! I really appreciate that! I'm soaking all that in for the next song! I've always wrote lyrics for hip hop, so it's a habit of inserting more lyrics than needed.
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