I think these lyrics have a strong classic country storytelling feel. They remind me of songs by Don Williams, Randy Travis, or even the narrative style of Johnny Cash. The train, the preacher, the veteran, and the mysterious ending all fit well within that tradition.

The verses are the strength of the song - they tell a compelling story with strong imagery and believable emotion. My biggest suggestion would be to make the chorus more memorable by settling on one hook phrase and repeating it consistently. That would give listeners something to latch onto while the verses carry the narrative.

The music fits perfectly.

Thanks folks. 😀

That production is what I wanted for this song.

Often with a story song you want a continuous mood, not necessarily a big chorus. The entire song is the chorus.

But that's just my opinion...

"Mountains swallowed up the sunset"

Love that. IMHO, brilliant line.

Lawhon